Side by Side

Our overarching goal is to support the needs and healthy development of LGBTQ+ youth and young adults. Countering the high risk for suicide, self-harm, and homelessness among LGBTQ+ youth, requires the dual approach of providing access to direct supports for at-risk youth and outreach to change policies and practices that have excluded them. We strive to empower individuals, ensure basic needs like clothing and housing are met, support mental health and identity expression, reduce ostracism and bullying, and hold space for conversations that build stronger, inclusive, and accepting individuals and communities.

Side by Side’s primary goals include:

1. Supporting the healthy development of youth by cultivating a strong sense of self, adult and peer supports and resiliency through healthy coping strategies and meeting basic needs like shelter
2. Widening the number of youth professionals, educators, and youth service providers knowledgeable in supporting LGBTQ+ youth
3. Working to ensure policies that impact youth from school policies to local regulations and even state laws include, support, and affirm LGBTQ+ people.

As we strive to build a better community, we also strive to build a better organization. With equity in the areas of gender and sexuality at the basis of our work, we champion that differences need to be acknowledged, respected and specifically supported. We are working as an organization to carefully review our work through the lens of racial equity and are making changes to directly address the needs of LGBTQ+ youth of color in our communities including diversifying our leadership, expanding our youth of color support group, adding a counselor to specifically work with adolescents of color and piloting bilingual support groups.

Side by Side provides LGBTQ+ youth with safe spaces and scaffolding that makes the difference. Beyond teaching and practicing tactics to deal with the physical and emotional results of ostracization, stigmatization and abuse, we nurture one of the most important pathways to a positive future: hope. Many of the LGBTQ+ youth who attend our groups don’t otherwise interact with other LGBTQ+ peers or out LGBTQ+ adults. They come to us with a picture of their future that is dark and bleak. At Side by Side, we give youth the chance to paint a different picture of and for themselves. Here they are able to create friendships with other LGBTQ+ youth and learn from our staff and adult facilitators who serve as positive adult role models helping them to build a network of support. Our curriculum incorporates LGBTQ+ history, media, and stories that celebrate being a member of the LGBTQ+ community. The result is that our youth begin to see who they are and who they will become in a positive light.
We provide affirming and supportive spaces for LGBTQ+ youth to build connections and resiliency as well as leadership and life skills through our key programs including:

• Youth Support Programs for youth 11-20 including weekly support groups, 24-hour youth support line, drop-in hours, as well as leadership opportunities and social events;
• Counseling Services: free mental health counseling for youth in our support groups and housing programs, which provides an extra layer of support for our most at-risk youth,
• Host Home, clothing closet, hygiene products, and other basic needs for LGBTQ+ young adults 18-25;
• Resources for parents and caregivers including parent discussion groups as well as family meetings;
• Outreach and Training to schools including our Youth Support Coordinator (YSC) liaisons, GSA support, consultation for school policy development, and training for teachers, counselors, and principles;
• Advocacy for inclusive policies in schools and supportive and affirming laws for LGBTQ+ people.
By coupling the direct service of support groups and counseling with outreach training, YSCs, GSAs, and advocacy for inclusive policies, we aim to ensure LGBTQ+ youth have the supports they need to enjoy a healthy lifestyle and celebrate who they are.

Founded in 1991, Side by Side (formerly ROSMY) continues to be the only organization in Central Virginia that directly addresses the unique needs and the healthy social development of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ+) youth. Recognizing the many risks our youth face, Side by Side programs take a trauma-informed, culturally aware approach that recognizes the unique experience of growing up LGBTQ+.

We follow best practices outlined by the National Resource Center for Mental Health Promotion and Youth Violence prevention including building staff skills, establishing safe spaces, conducting trauma-informed assessments, involving youth and families, and shifting policies to be more affirming. All programming staff are trained in trauma-informed practices including crisis response. We focus on proven techniques including the ASIST model for suicide intervention, safety planning for suicide prevention, and open dialogue about suicide with youth to destigmatize the discussion.

Rooted in The Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets for Adolescents, Side by Side’s youth support groups address both internal and external assets– with particular emphasis on building family support, safety, adult possibility models, positive peer influence, and creative activities – as we promote positive identity development and build resilience to protect youth from high-risk behavior such as substance use, unprotected sex, and cutting. A core – literally lifesaving – element of our curriculum is healthy coping strategies in times of stress and suicide ideation. Through support groups, Side by Side connects LGBTQ+ youth with peers to share their experience and decrease feelings of isolation. Our adult facilitators serve as “possibility models” and mentors for our youth and the Richmond Youth Center offers a safe place where youth can comfortably socialize and build community. For youth needing an extra layer of support we provide free counseling services with a mental health professional who specializes in working with LGBTQ+ youth, critically overcoming obstacles to this support including access to health insurance, inability to pay, and fear of uneducated or even hostile providers.

Our Host Home program approach is considered a best practice for LGBTQ+ youth by the Point Source Youth as it has been shown to be especially effective at reducing isolation and giving LGBTQ+ young people a sense of belonging.

We augment our direct service work with outreach and trainings designed to shift the culture, ultimately making more affirming spaces where our youth can be themselves. Our training focuses on basic terminology and understanding LGBTQ+ identities as well as key risk and protective factors for LGBTQ+ youth. We also consult with schools on the development of inclusive policies based on both our own organizational history and expertise, but also national research and best practices from GLSEN, GSA Network, Gender Spectrum, and more.

Side by Side annually reaches nearly 450 unique youth in support groups, provides mental health counseling to 40 youth, provides homelessness services to over 40 unique young adults, and trains over 5,000 youth service providers including teachers, counselors, and principles in Richmond and surrounding counties. Additionally, in 2019 we began offering Host Home services for LGBTQ+ youth ages 18-25, who are disproportionally impacted by housing instability. We continue to grow to meet the needs of our community and buildup a stronger future filled with affirming possibilities for LGBTQ+ youth.

From our November 2019 surveys:
• 80% of youth felt like they matter, a key indicator of self-worth.
• 75% reported they could identify a supportive adult in their life (including possibility models from our support groups) and 85% could identify a supportive peer in their life (including friendships built at Side by Side)
• 98% were able to identify a healthy coping strategy during times of stress or suicide ideation

Side by Side keeps youth alive by building their resiliency and network of support. And we continue to push for more resources to change school climates including working with elected officials to pass legislation in the General Assembly that would direct the Virginia Department of Education to develop inclusive policies for transgender students in all K-12 schools.

Before the world turned, we had already been moving toward a solidarity rooted in equity. In November 2019, Side by Side publicly shared our Racial Equity Statement and Commitment to Black LGBTQ+ youth (http://www.sidebysideva.org/racial-equity). We have held focus groups and surveys and based on the feedback received, we are taking the following important steps: offering our Youth of Color group weekly instead of twice a month; working with Black leaders and organizations serving primarily Black youth to overcome transportation barriers for LGBTQ+ youth; developing a more equitable board recruitment plan; and working with two outside organizations to evaluate our employee practices.